Tales from the jar side: Java 16 coming, ShantyTok, and humorous tweets

O hoist up the John B's sail! See how the mainsail sets! Call for the Captain ashore and let me harmonize a meme

Jan 17, 2021

Welcome to Tales from the jar side, the Kousen IT newsletter, for the week of January 10 - 17, 2021. This week I taught a course called What’s New In Java on the O’Reilly Learning Platform.

Java 16 Coming Soon

Java started the rampdown phase 2 headed for the March 16 release of Java 16. That means the list of JEPs on this page is finalized, so we know what will be included, even if the release isn’t quite ready yet. That list include records, which are interesting, and pattern matching for instanceof, which really isn’t. I talk about both during class, as well as sealed classes, which will be in their second preview.

Sealed classes can only have specific, declared subclasses, which you list in a permits list. A sealed class is marked with the keyword sealed, which can be either on a class or an interface. The funny part is that subclasses of sealed classes must be marked either sealed, final, or — and here’s the good one — non-sealed, which is the first time ever that Java has a keyword with a minus sign inside it.

Here is the sample from the Java Enhancement Proposal (397):

Shouldn’t non-sealed be unsealed? Or open? Of course, when I hear sealed, I keep thinking the classes should be either signed, sealed, or delivered. Maybe that’s only true if they’re used by Stevie Wonder.

(It’s probably good that I have another couple months to work on that joke.)

If I’m going to talk about Java, I should mention that the indefatigable Trisha Gee published another Java Annotated Monthly:

Trisha Gee @trisha_gee

January's #Java Annotated Monthly is out now! This one is a huge monster of Java-and-related articles, tutorials, news etc

jb.ggJava Annotated Monthly – January 2021 – IntelliJ IDEA Blog | JetBrainsWell 2020 is over, phew! And holy cow, I know I’m late with this month’s Annotated (because I’m a real human being and like to take vacation) but even so there’s a lot of stuff in this month’s edition

It’s great, as usual, even if I had nothing to contribute this time.

What Do We Do With A Drunken Sailor?

If you’ve been on the internet at all this week, you encountered ShantyTok, the sudden mystifying rise of sea shanties on TikTok. I’m not on TikTok, partly because I don’t need another time sink and partly because I’d just as soon not send all my phone’s data to the Chinese government, but it sure was tempting this week.

I tweeted a link summarizing the recent developments:

Ken Kousen @kenkousen

I have no idea why, but yes, this is exactly what I needed today

polygon.comTikTok is making sea shanties big againWellerman, a sea shanty from the 19th century, has gone viral on TikTok thanks to a scottish folk singer, creating Shanty Tok in the process.

This is the one I saw first, which already had lots of harmony. It’s the default version that went viral everywhere.

Probably everything there is to be said about it has already been said, but this was definitely a different take:

Hayes Brown @HayesBrown

Did I write 1300 words on ShantyTok and how it’s both very manly and v tender and why we need that right now for your Friday reading pleasure? Yes. Yes I did.

msnbc.comThe tender masculinity of Shanty TikTok‘Why don’t the president’s supporters hold him to their own standard of masculinity?,’ Tom Nichols asks in his new piece for The Atlantic. Nichols joins Morning Joe to discuss.

This page at YouTube has a list of Wellerman videos, including one that goes on for three full hours (a three-hour tour, get it?). Seriously, this meme may burn itself out before I even send this newsletter.

My only contribution was to try to make a joke out of it:

Ken Kousen @kenkousen

Has the Wellerman come yet? We could all use some sugar and tea and rum (And coffee. A venti skinny blonde vanilla latte would be great, thanks) #shantytok

Frankly I was disappointed more people didn’t respond to that one. I thought it was funny.

Of course, the lack of responses may have been due to something else going on this week.

You Say You Want A Revolution

Well, you know, we all want to change the world, but those of us who are still sane prefer to do it by voting rather than armed insurrection.

Wait, that was last week, wasn’t it? It just feels like every day since has been tough. Last week I missed including this great video from Arnold Schwarzenegger:

Arnold @Schwarzenegger

My message to my fellow Americans and friends around the world following this week's attack on the Capitol.

An excellent response was:

Jess Gartner (she/her) @jessgartner

Imagine going back to 1988 and telling people that the guy who wrote The Art of the Deal is trying to overthrow the government but The Terminator had some very reassuring words for everyone about democracy.

I was referred to an excellent YouTube channel that posts nearly daily updates (and sometimes more than once a day) called Beau of the Fifth Column. He sounds like a good old boy from the South, but don’t let his accent or his overall look make you underestimate him or assume he fits any preconceived notions you might have. He’s extremely bright and clearly experienced in military affairs. I’ve found him a source of great insight during our current crisis.

The depressing part was watching way too many members of congress continue to push against the peaceful transfer of power. The most insightful tweet I saw about that came during the (second) impeachment hearings:

Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt

👇👇👇👇👇

blaine capatch @blainecapatch

it's like half of your teachers saying school shooters have a point

Says it all, doesn’t it?

I do feel the tide has turned, but I’ve gotten my hopes up too many times to really believe it. Like everybody else, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and hoping it doesn’t happen at all.

Miscellaneous

Speaking of waiting for a crisis, we watched WandaVision this week.

WandaVision' Review: First Marvel TV Series on Disney Plus | TVLine

It’s supposed to be humorous, right? I can’t help feeling like it’s cleverly disguised horror, with really bad stuff on the way. Well done, but yikes.

Speaking of yikes that I couldn’t stop watching, the NFL broadcast a playoff game on Nickelodeon last weekend:

NFL @NFL

The BEST @Nickelodeon moments from #CHIvsNO! 🤮🍍 (h/t @NFLUpOfficial, @NFLonCBS) #SuperWildCard

It did make a very bad game watchable, which was good.

I also thought this gag was clever:

Adam Jacobi @Adam_J_Tweets

No words, just RT when you get it

Read the images in order (top left, top right, bottom left, bottom right). Think about what happens during a full moon. Hopefully that’s enough hints, but if you need more, see the bottom of this newsletter.

Finally, though my productivity definitely took a hit this week, I did do some work on my Managing Your Manager book. The beta version ought to be available soon. The timing might be a bit awkward, however.