My network access was inconsistent, so I moved my modem to where I keep my horses. Now I have stable wifi (Rimshot).
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in most of the way, and the other to give it a surprise twist at the…
Dad joke: I went to a haunted bread-and-breakfast in France. I had to leave. That place was giving me the crêpes.
Me: The problem with the world is that idiots are so sure of themselves, and intelligent people so full of doubts. You: Do you think that's true? Me…
Me: "My memory is so bad now." You: "How bad is it?" Me: "How bad is what?"
I got into an argument with my wife while on an elevator. As it turned out, I was wrong on so many levels.
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list, but now I can't read it
Dad joke: "I just burned 2000 calories in two minutes." "Wow! How did you do that?" "I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven."
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Tales from the jar side